Let’s be real, people. Balancing home life and work as a teacher has always been a challenge. There is always more to do: grading to finish, lessons to rework, students needing reteaching and greater differentiation. Of course, there are also dinners to prepare, kids’ games to cheer on, laundry to fold, and memories to make. In the current era of remote teaching and learning, the balance can be even harder to strike. The tensions between work and home are heightening as we try to establish boundaries to protect our home life and our sanity while meeting responsibilities toward our students.
So what is the secret? My family will certainly attest that I have yet to master this completely. They graciously tell me they admire my work-ethic. This is code for, “Good gravy, Mom, you’re still working?” While I appreciate their diplomacy, I am not ignorant of the issue. That is the first step, right? Admitting you have a problem? While a 12-step program might not exactly be in order, I’ve developed a five-step approach for finding balance during remote learning that is helping me through.
Step 1- Acknowledge these are indeed crazy times, and forgive yourself for the imperfect way you’ve transitioned into them. Nobody could have imagined this. You are stepping up to the plate, willing to swing for the bleachers knowing you will likely have a few embarrassing strikes. Give yourself a break. You will figure it out; just stay in the game. To continue on the baseball theme, Yogi Berra might have put it this way, “Teaching right now is 90% flexibility, the other half is wine perseverance.” The current circumstances aren’t just about learning to effectively teach through distance learning. You are responding to a crisis for which you were likely not adequately trained, without all the resources your students likely need, while being cooped up and out of your normal rhythms.
Step 2- Create a schedule for yourself and your kids. Talk together about what it will look like, understanding it will require flexibility from everyone involved. About ten years into my teaching career, I spent two years homeschooling my boys in kindergarten/first grade and second/third grade. I planned to run things like a well-oiled machine, all the way down to the dress code. No pajamas allowed. It would be a piece of cake after managing multiple sections of students all day long. Wrong. Not only did my newly adopted baby girl have other plans, but somehow it was different with my own kids. Harder. Lots harder. The dynamics of teaching your own children are different from classroom teaching. Eventually, however, we learned to live by a schedule— flexibly. I actually ended up wearing my daughter in a sling, and she did school with us. Once I let go of the ideal picture in my head and embraced the big picture of our days, we got our priorities accomplished. You will too. So relax. I do recommend getting out of your pajamas—at least most days- if for no other reason than Microsoft Teams only allows me to blur my background and not my pre-coffee bed-head during virtual meetings.
Step 3- Schedule intentional time as a family. Play a game, build an obstacle course, read aloud, watch a movie, construct a Rube Goldberg machine, perfect your bucket lists for when you can actually go out again. The activity isn’t the important thing, the time is. It is non-negotiable. Enlist the whole family in scheduling the activities. Rotate who gets to choose. Even if it isn’t a huge amount of time, be consistent. It communicates something vital to your family. They are important. They are loved. Just as importantly, it reminds you that you aren’t only a teacher, you are a spouse, a parent, and your own child’s safe place in this storm.
step 4- Connect with other teachers. We need each other. Of course we should be sharing resources with one another, but more importantly, we need to support one another. Laugh. Cry. Scream. Laugh some more. This season will pass. We will come out having learned and grown as educators and as friends. Your students may have missed some content, but they are also learning incredibly valuable life lessons and 21st century skills. They are going to be fine. They are watching you. Keeping yourself sane by maintaining connections for yourself, will serve everyone.
Step five- Take time to reflect. Make it a part of your daily routine. If you feel you don’t have time to reflect then do it while brushing your teeth or in the shower. Reflect on how you are doing personally and how your family is doing. What needs attention today? Have you given hugs and words of affirmation that are needed? Have you listened? Are your kids managing their own school work successfully. Are you taking time to really connect with your spouse? Decide on two specific actions you can take each day to improve one of the things you identified as needing attention. Likely, there will be days you reflect and realize you are a total mess, but that’s o.k. Each day is a new day, a new opportunity to make it just a little bit better.
So take the pledge. Get on board with the five-step program to finding some balance in the bananas.
Hello. My name is Heather. I’m a teacher. I’m a mother. I’m a mess.
